Some people told me that I would be a good negotiator. Maybe. I think I’d be a very good unreasonable negotiator. I can imagine myself telling a criminal that I would give him *candies* if he lets go of the hostages.

Criminal P “I want a hundred billion yen RIGHT NOW.”
Me “Alright.. how about two milky candies?”
Criminal P “..What?”
Me “That’s right.. you’ll get TWO candies if you come out now.. yeah? Yeah.”
Cirminal P “What the hell..”
Me “Fine.. boy, you’re a tough one, aren’t you.. alright, what about FOUR candies plus a GREEN TEA ice crem.. yumm”

The criminal would be so confused and frustrated that he would just come out of the building to ask for a better negotiator. And I win. Yeah, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad job, although it’s possible that my co-workers may get angry and shoot me. We’ll have to see about that.