If commercial airplanes fly closer to the ground or ocean, it’d be more fun to fly.

It’s probably a good thing that they don’t.

When I come to think of it, it is a bit nerve racking to constantly sit in front of something that can pop out suddenly as I drive.

Surprises can be dangerous.

Well, thank you. I will then.

My friends have been exhaling — and only exhaling — in my living room for the last two weeks.

Surprisingly, quite a few books I want — not porn — have titles that I’m a bit hesitant to say at information desks.

How about putting running wheels around the places where mice come in and out of a house? If I attach some food to the wheel, would mice get on the wheel and start running?

If they are happy running on a wheel rather than around the house, I’ll be happy too.

I would like to award the ‘best place to be in an REI store’ prize to…

Behind/Among the hanging sleeping bag samples.

It’s very quiet, comfy, and cool. It’s a totally separate world from the rest of the store.

The moment after saying “cheers” to start drinking is often awkward. There is a moment of silence and/or random words to fill bits and pieces of silence while we decide which glasses to touch and whose are too far to touch.

Broccolli Rape — $7
Meatball — $6

Don’t look too appetizing. Broccoli rape sounds really offensive.

I’m not sure how I would feel if I’m given the specifal professor status with one of those “another professor’s name Professor” titles, especially when very few people know who that another professor is in most cases…

Dead trees look more attractive than almost any other dead matters.

If dreams were continuous — meaning that when you go to sleep, you start from where you ended the night before — would the idea of sleeping become more or less comforting?

In such a world, I wonder if people with discontinuous dreams, like most humans in this world, would seek help from psychiatrists.

I don’t like the aftertaste of beer on my tongue. When my tongue starts tasting like beer, I start feeling less happy.

I lose my consciousness in the act of getting nuts out of shells and bringing them to my mouth.

I become something between a robot and an enlightened person.

I’d like to play Chopin Etude Op. 10 No.3 on a grand piano at the bottom of the ocean.

Giraffe is a kosher animal.

I imagine that their soft horns taste like chocolate muffins or brownies.

I do not eat giraffes.

There is a Japanese tale about a blind monk who sang and played a japanese banjo. He’d been invited to sing for this large group of people for a while when his boss realized that he was actually singing to a group of ghosts who really liked his concerts. They liked it so much that they decided to take him to the other world. The boss, in an effort to prevent this from happening, wrote spells all over the blind monk’s body, which makes him invisible from the ghosts — except for his ears. Seeing only his ears, the chauffeur ghost says, “alright, I guess I’ll just take these ears back home then.”

I used to feel upset about his boss missing ears. I always thought why forget the ears? But then, it just occured to me that it is just like putting on sunscreen — I, too, forget about my ears.

I, too, love kitkats.

Ok, here’s a theory:

Somebody must be controlling the airplane security check, so that we slowly move towards the “everyone be naked on planes” plan. Somebody must be.

The cuter their eyes are, the more likely the sharks would attack people.

Well, not always but some sharks do have pikachu eyes.

I would add the “Strong Corner Force” to the list of weak forces in the universe. They drink living things just as an almost out of battery vacuum would do.

Someday, I will be remembered as a person to have discovered strong corner force.