Author: mika

I feel like I’m a perfect prey for Oscar Wild — when I read lines that ridicle not-so-clever people, I have to mumble these lines to myself multiple times before understanding the real meanings.

For a second, I wished there were a recycle-water button in my sink to rerun the flow-thru — I thought it’d be nice to have the water constantly running while cooking or cleaning up around the sink, so that I don’t have to touch the faucet knob with my covered-in-goo hands.

But then, it could just be a motion sensor button or pedal to avoid that problem. Also, a recycle-water button is probably prone to causing nasty accidents.

Oh Mannequin, your choice to use qui for ki is pretty qool.

There used to be a mannequin I could hug when I was tired. Now it’s got an anti-domestic violence jacket that can either call 911 or shock me if I try to hug.

Oh Mannequin, what’re you trying to tell me?

I’ve never met dentists without perfect teeth and I’ve never met ophthalmologists without imperfect eye sight.

Bulk-sales pistachios. I wonder if it’s ok to peel all the pistachios before buying them.

And I wonder how many shells it would take to benefit one extra pistachio.

I came back to the empty house to find a suspended action in my sink:

Describe ADD in one photo.

Seriously. What happened.

Fish swimming? Totally legitimate. Fish flying? I guess that’s ok too.

Fish running….. Now, that’s really questionable. If fish can run, snails should be claiming they can skip too.

How can such a small thing like a donut give me 300 calories? I can squash it in my hand and it’ll become as small as or smaller than a pingpong ball.

Donuts, you’re so amazing that I must have one more of you.

I like to see a clean kitchen in the morning, even if that means the dirtiness of the kitchen exists elsewhere in the house.

Tangerines are great fruit to have around in the living room. It takes no preparation – most guests love tangerines – it requires some effort by the guests to eat them – that effort makes the consumption more satisfying.

No work for the host, guaranteed satiation by the guests.

If the dairy farmers decide to genetically control the gender of unborn calves, I wonder if I and the fellow cheese-loving vegetarians would feel more comfortable consuming dairy products…

Wrong solution?

Is there such a thing as “accent” in sign languages? Can people tell if someone is from the South, NY, etc by looking at how they use the sign language?

Hearing thunder in the belly makes me feel the same way as when I hear thunder in the sky.

Yeah.

Some sounds are most easily described by texture.

The sound I heard today was like a memory foam pillow. I think I liked it but I don’t know if it’s because I actually liked the sound or because it reminded me of the comfort a memory foam pillow gives..

If — and I say if — I have a one-time slap permit, when would be the best moment to use it?

It’s a pretty difficult question…

Whenever I eat egg sandwiches, a traffic jam occurs in my throat.

To swallow or not to swallow..that is the question.

Trying to dicipher the hidden code on the Dr. Bronner’s All In One! soap bottle.

There must be something in there…

My new fashion statement.

Why aren’t more people doing this style. It keeps my neck warm.

O, Share.

In Japanese cartoons, characters sometimes express their sadness, depression, or uncomfortableness with these ‘gegege’ marks on their faces.

My computer now has this gegege mark on its left side of the face — and I imagine that that is exactly how it’s feeling.

Pop! Pops pop pop pops a pop as pop pops pop pop pops and pop pops.

Wonder why that would be.