I came back to the empty house to find a suspended action in my sink:

Describe ADD in one photo.

Seriously. What happened.

Fish swimming? Totally legitimate. Fish flying? I guess that’s ok too.

Fish running….. Now, that’s really questionable. If fish can run, snails should be claiming they can skip too.

How can such a small thing like a donut give me 300 calories? I can squash it in my hand and it’ll become as small as or smaller than a pingpong ball.

Donuts, you’re so amazing that I must have one more of you.

I like to see a clean kitchen in the morning, even if that means the dirtiness of the kitchen exists elsewhere in the house.

Tangerines are great fruit to have around in the living room. It takes no preparation – most guests love tangerines – it requires some effort by the guests to eat them – that effort makes the consumption more satisfying.

No work for the host, guaranteed satiation by the guests.

If the dairy farmers decide to genetically control the gender of unborn calves, I wonder if I and the fellow cheese-loving vegetarians would feel more comfortable consuming dairy products…

Wrong solution?

Is there such a thing as “accent” in sign languages? Can people tell if someone is from the South, NY, etc by looking at how they use the sign language?

Hearing thunder in the belly makes me feel the same way as when I hear thunder in the sky.

Yeah.

Some sounds are most easily described by texture.

The sound I heard today was like a memory foam pillow. I think I liked it but I don’t know if it’s because I actually liked the sound or because it reminded me of the comfort a memory foam pillow gives..

If — and I say if — I have a one-time slap permit, when would be the best moment to use it?

It’s a pretty difficult question…