I didn’t notice how many freckles I had because my bathroom mirror has even more freckles.

When I watch people walk with my head upside down, everyone walks like Jar Jar Binks.

The biggest disappointment in my bean life:

Bright pink freckles on cranberry beans disappear and the beans become brown upon boiling.

So sad.

I have cut hundreds of carrots in my life and yet, every time, I become indecisive about when to stop cutting cylindrical pieces into quarters.

Zen of carrotting.

How to create an awkward moment on IRC: type in (space)/wc in a private chat window.

Extra points if you have to explain what /wc does.

When I skim through medical papers, I find more articles written about or by pedestrians.

To the moths:

There’s literally a world of opportunities outside of our pantry. Don’t get stuck in a can of oats with your extended families. I know it’s hard to imagine that there’s life better than that but you should give it a try.

Leafless salad is less stressful to make.

It’s easier to count gear teeth during winter — I can just scrape off the salty mud to mark the first tooth instead of trying to memorize where I started.

I remember that forgetfulness is a form of freedom.

But I don’t remember what form remembrance takes.

Imagining baby sea turtles hatch makes me nervous — they don’t know what’s out there but they know that they’ve gotta run.

If people had see-thru windows on their bodies, a person riding on the back of xtracycle could have even more fun.

It is surely the 33rd day of the year. It is almost 333 days away from the end of the year. It is definitely not 3/3.

Given a choice, would a penguin rather be in an igloo or be outside? What if the igloo comes with a heater?

Every time I heard someone mention that there is no speed limit on autobahn, I saw a speed limit sign.

Confusion.

My newly discovered talent: walking into a toilet that is open but not vacant.

It shocks me more than the occupants every time.

One of the biggest achievements from last year was finding the light switch for the bathroom a year after moving into the house.

I hope to find the switch for the hallway light this year.

A plan for next Dec: Make a movie that involves a santa dreidel.
Make it the best holiday season film.

Wine sediments make me think about miniprep.

Hats and I get along well while things are not so pretty between me and helmets.