My computer’s ability to control volumes in a non-predictive manner prevents me from exploring the web in class.

Thank you, Ubuntu.

If my digestive tract were transparent, would I be more conscious about what I eat?

I would certainly not be able to sneat his green tea ice cream.

Dear my bike, Please stop popping the wheels.

Dear my rider, Please get me Armadillo.

Hey bike, Well, you’re not the one who has to bike.

Rider, I bike therefore I am.

…fine.

When people mistakenly call someone with a relatively popular name with another common name that doesn’t even sound similar, there is always a moment of awkwardness.

I wish I was better at remembering names.