When I’m in a revolving door with someone in the opposite quadrant who doesn’t push the door, I think about Godfather.

I threaten to go to bed early.

He counter-threatens me by telling me that the worm in “early bird gets the worm” is a tapeworm.

I sometimes confuse a sore subject with a sour subject.

Both seem to describe my feelings about the subject of interest pretty well.

The only kind of typing errors that rrreeeaaaallllly bothers me: the use of commas where it should be periods.

I’d like to demonstrate it here but even the thought of demonstration drives me crazy.

I found a toilet paper fairy.

Our favorite snack: deer crackers

While having a hot pot at a Japanese restaurant, my brother asked for more odashi — soup broth. The waiter showed up a few minutes later, apologizing for the delay, and gave us some ohashi — chopsticks.

We used those chopsticks to make more fire for the hot pot.

We got into big trouble. It was Mako’s idea.